Is it safe to put your kids pictures on the web?

Here's an interesting article that attempts to address the on-going dilemma of whether it is safe to publish your kids photos on the web. Although, it seemed a bit open ended without any specific conclusion as to which side of the fence one should be on, it was quite informative.

Why do kids rebel?

Past few days I have been questioning myself on what triggers rebellion in children to an extent, where nothing you say or do seems to make any difference. I understand the fact that kids between the age of 3 to 5 are enthralled by their new-found abilities and growing independence. In fact, at every single instance, they would want to affirm that they are equal. And there is no doubt that such behavior must be encouraged... But what happens when you come to a point when everything you say is second-guessed or is looked upon as having an ulterior motive?

Do we as parents really understand them? Do we give them a chance to express themselves and offer not to judge or react? How would you react to a child when he confesses that he does not know why he behaves in a certain way when he knows that what he's doing is not right? There is only one answer, do we trust and love our children unconditionally? 'Cause if we did, we wouldn't be passing on our guilt of disappointment on to them when they do not fulfill our plans. Besides, what we fail to realize is that this feeling of guilt hits them harder than we can imagine. And in the process to alleviate the pain, sometimes a child rebels since he is forced to believe that he can do nothing to please his parents.

By this, I do not mean that you can't be forthright about what is right or not, but it is also important to let the child know that you'll love him/her no matter what, no matter who they are or what they'll do, and I'm sure, that will water the rebellion down. Also, treat your child like an adult. Give him/her what you would like in return: attention, respect, trust, privacy, independence, and you will be surprised at the result.

If you already have a rebellious child, all you can do is love him, give him time, and ensure that you communicate. Be patient and listen. Praise him and let him know you love him completely :)

What does disciplining mean?

I recently came across an article on 'what is discipline?' I must say I was pleasantly surprised... It was none of what I had expected it to be. In fact, it reinstated my faith in the fact that I was on the right track much to everyone's contrary belief. Here's how it goes...

What is discipline?

• It means giving your child the tools to succeed in life.
• It is based on building the right relationship with your child more than using the right techniques.
• Helping your child develop inner controls that will last a lifetime.

Seems like an eye-opener isn't it? Probably it is 'cause our understanding of the word 'discipline' was obviously different. Like many parents, our parents too equated discipline with reacting to bad behavior. But it was obviously wrong as I'm sure a lot of us were scarred by our parents spanking, especially when it was done in front of others. And we surely can't afford to be like them. We must learn from our own experiences and evolve. Thus, discipline is all about what you do to encourage good behavior. It's about training your child to do things the right way rather than waiting to correct or criticize them once they are done!

Discipline is everything you put into children that influences how they turn out. But how do you want your child to turn out? What will your child need from you in order to become the person you want him or her to be? Whatever be your ultimate objective, the rules you set must be rooted in helping your child develop inner controls that will last a lifetime.

Can you really make your child smarter?

With my child going to playschool, I have come across so many instances where parents would actually ask teachers whether there were ways in which they could make their child smarter. Unfortunately, it almost seemed like a farce considering that the intent was not to understand their child's potential or of improving his/her abilities, but about competing with other kids. Nonetheless, here's my take on what I think is possible.

Most of us believe that there are certain inborn abilities within every child. These could be anything from mathematic calculations, exemplary understand of colors and forms, etc. So what can we do to nurture these abilities? Remember, there aren't any quick, simple ways to turn your child into a genius, but your actions as parents do have a big influence on your child's intellectual capacity.

This influence primarily comes in through direct actions and the examples you set. This is because, kids respond well to parental interest in their activities and such interest gives your child confidence to continue exploring. But you must provide your child with a measure of freedom — it's best to be an active, but not interfering guide, as they build most of their smartness when allowed to discover things on their own.

For example, by a certain age, children believe at a subconscious level that many of their parents attributes are their own; for instance, a girl whose mother is afraid of storms is likely to assume that she, too, is afraid of storms. Children whose parents show an interest in words and books are likely to believe they have a similar interest, and a genuine interest often grows out of this belief. Although these effects can be powerful, children tend to honor what their parents do rather than what they say. If you pay lip service to being curious and asking lots of questions but don't do it yourself, there likely will be little effect on your children.

So if you're truly interested in improving your child's intellect, play with him/her in ways where you can stimulate his thinking and senses.