Past few days I have been questioning myself on what triggers rebellion in children to an extent, where nothing you say or do seems to make any difference. I understand the fact that kids between the age of 3 to 5 are enthralled by their new-found abilities and growing independence. In fact, at every single instance, they would want to affirm that they are equal. And there is no doubt that such behavior must be encouraged... But what happens when you come to a point when everything you say is second-guessed or is looked upon as having an ulterior motive?
Do we as parents really understand them? Do we give them a chance to express themselves and offer not to judge or react? How would you react to a child when he confesses that he does not know why he behaves in a certain way when he knows that what he's doing is not right? There is only one answer, do we trust and love our children unconditionally? 'Cause if we did, we wouldn't be passing on our guilt of disappointment on to them when they do not fulfill our plans. Besides, what we fail to realize is that this feeling of guilt hits them harder than we can imagine. And in the process to alleviate the pain, sometimes a child rebels since he is forced to believe that he can do nothing to please his parents.
By this, I do not mean that you can't be forthright about what is right or not, but it is also important to let the child know that you'll love him/her no matter what, no matter who they are or what they'll do, and I'm sure, that will water the rebellion down. Also, treat your child like an adult. Give him/her what you would like in return: attention, respect, trust, privacy, independence, and you will be surprised at the result.
If you already have a rebellious child, all you can do is love him, give him time, and ensure that you communicate. Be patient and listen. Praise him and let him know you love him completely :)
1 comment:
An important tip for any parent is to understand and respect their own CHILD. Well written my dearest wife.
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