Bond for life!

Recently I read a wonderful article on the importance of attaching with your child, and it wasn't just about spending quality time, but about the physical/mental bond that you as a parent should share with your young one. Here's what becoming 'attached' to your child means.

Attachment is a special bond between a parent and child; a feeling that draws you like a magnet to your baby; a relationship that causes the mother to feel that the baby is a part of her. This feeling is so strong that, at least in the early months, the attached mother feels complete only when she is with her baby and incomplete if they are apart.

This is not to say that fathers are excluded from this rule, but because, at least in the early months, the mother-infant attachment is more important. Also, it is not that a father cannot become deeply attached to the child, but it often seems to be a different type of attachment.

Attachment means that a mother and baby are in harmony with each other. Being in harmony with your baby is one of the most fulfilling feelings a mother can ever hope to have. Watch a mother and baby who are attached with each other, you will realize that when the baby gives a cue, such as facial expressions or crying, the mother, because she is open to the baby's cues, responds by satisfying the need.

Initially, her responses may be a bit strained and not always what the baby needs. But as the mother-baby pair rehearse these interactions, after a few weeks or months into parenting this cue-response relationship becomes more natural and harmonious. The baby begins to anticipate the response that his mother will give and become further motivated to give more cues, because he learns that he will get a predictable response.

Because the baby gives the mother feedback that her mothering is appreciated, the mother-baby pair begin to enjoy each other more. They get used to each other. In fact, so often I feel as though I'm absolutely addicted to my baby.

So the next time around when you respond from your heart when your baby cries, or respond with a feeling of rightness when your baby gives you a cue, know that you are well on your way to becoming an attached parent!