Pregnancy and Motherhood

Cooking with kids can be rewarding in many ways…

2010-03-09T20:37:00.005+05:30

Being a working mom can be extremely stressful especially when you want to provide nothing but the best to your children. I face this dilemma more often than I’d like to and that’s when I realized that involving my 3-year-old in activities concerning her was an easier way to have her agree on things that she wouldn’t quite consider, like eating vegetables or trying different kinds of foods!

It all started one day, when I asked my daughter what she would like to eat, and as expected her reply was ‘pizza’. The immediate thought was ‘no not that junk food again!’ as knowing her she would never want to eat anything but cheese and meat. But I thought for a while and realized that if I involved her in the making process, I could get her to eat the things I want her to. So, with all the ingredients laid out we both started making our own pizzas. I let her put in all that she wanted and then once when I was done with mine, I began to compare my pizza with hers – talking about all the nice colors and the yummy flavors. And guess what! Without any resistance, she started placing the exact stuff that I would have wanted her to, which she would have resisted otherwise.

Apart from the fact that I didn’t have to spend time convincing her, I realized that kids are more likely to try new things if you get them involved. Of course, having patience is the key, but it’s also important that you spend some time teaching them about utensils, techniques and the ingredients themselves. That way, you're not only trying to increase their comfort in the kitchen, but you're also exposing them to new foods. Start off with something that doesn't have a lot of ingredients or steps, or something that's easy to fix. This will not only give them confidence, but also keep them motivated to experiment further.

Kids Party - Rachel Campos-Duffy - GMC Trade Secrets - AOL Living

2010-02-15T00:27:00.000+05:30

Kids Party - Rachel Campos-Duffy - GMC Trade Secrets - AOL Living

Love Color... Live Color!

2009-12-07T04:16:00.001+05:30

Color therapy is becoming a popular healing art. Colors don't just affect our mood but also have a powerful physical reaction within the body. For instance, blue calms our nerves, red increases the heartbeat, while yellow is said to improve our immune system. In fact, we are immersed in color at every single moment - as soon as color bounces off the retina in the eye, it transforms into nerve energy enabling us to see, while its therapeutic qualities travel instinctively to the part that requires the nourishment of that color. Our bodies are always on the look out for ways to maintain harmony, and hence we are drawn towards certain colors, be it in the form of the clothes we wear or the food we eat.

Have you noticed how receptive children are to color? Encouraging their visual awareness for color can be an effective tool for understanding their mood and also affecting their sense of well being. Apart from having them paint their mind (finger paints are an ideal medium), here's what you can do when you feel that your child appears restless. Introduce him/her to color therapy by creating a deck of color cards (10x15cms). You may want to sit and discuss the different colors and how they make you feel and which ones you're drawn towards and why. Doing so it important as it will help them articulate their feelings. Place the cards randomly and have your child pick the cards that his/her eyes travel to first. Then, have them softly focus on the color until they feel a sense of balance. You can repeat this process with as many different colors as you like and you will be surprised with the effects.

Is it safe to put your kids pictures on the web?

2009-10-27T12:53:00.008+05:30

Here's an interesting article that attempts to address the on-going dilemma of whether it is safe to publish your kids photos on the web. Although, it seemed a bit open ended without any specific conclusion as to which side of the fence one should be on, it was quite informative.

Why do kids rebel?

2009-05-18T12:55:00.006+05:30

Past few days I have been questioning myself on what triggers rebellion in children to an extent, where nothing you say or do seems to make any difference. I understand the fact that kids between the age of 3 to 5 are enthralled by their new-found abilities and growing independence. In fact, at every single instance, they would want to affirm that they are equal. And there is no doubt that such behavior must be encouraged... But what happens when you come to a point when everything you say is second-guessed or is looked upon as having an ulterior motive?

Do we as parents really understand them? Do we give them a chance to express themselves and offer not to judge or react? How would you react to a child when he confesses that he does not know why he behaves in a certain way when he knows that what he's doing is not right? There is only one answer, do we trust and love our children unconditionally? 'Cause if we did, we wouldn't be passing on our guilt of disappointment on to them when they do not fulfill our plans. Besides, what we fail to realize is that this feeling of guilt hits them harder than we can imagine. And in the process to alleviate the pain, sometimes a child rebels since he is forced to believe that he can do nothing to please his parents.

By this, I do not mean that you can't be forthright about what is right or not, but it is also important to let the child know that you'll love him/her no matter what, no matter who they are or what they'll do, and I'm sure, that will water the rebellion down. Also, treat your child like an adult. Give him/her what you would like in return: attention, respect, trust, privacy, independence, and you will be surprised at the result.

If you already have a rebellious child, all you can do is love him, give him time, and ensure that you communicate. Be patient and listen. Praise him and let him know you love him completely :)

What does disciplining mean?

2008-11-19T10:33:00.011+05:30

I recently came across an article on 'what is discipline?' I must say I was pleasantly surprised... It was none of what I had expected it to be. In fact, it reinstated my faith in the fact that I was on the right track much to everyone's contrary belief. Here's how it goes...

What is discipline?

It means giving your child the tools to succeed in life.
It is based on building the right relationship with your child more than using the right techniques.
Helping your child develop inner controls that will last a lifetime.

Seems like an eye-opener isn't it? Probably it is 'cause our understanding of the word 'discipline' was obviously different. Like many parents, our parents too equated discipline with reacting to bad behavior. But it was obviously wrong as I'm sure a lot of us were scarred by our parents spanking, especially when it was done in front of others. And we surely can't afford to be like them. We must learn from our own experiences and evolve. Thus, discipline is all about what you do to encourage good behavior. It's about training your child to do things the right way rather than waiting to correct or criticize them once they are done!

Discipline is everything you put into children that influences how they turn out. But how do you want your child to turn out? What will your child need from you in order to become the person you want him or her to be? Whatever be your ultimate objective, the rules you set must be rooted in helping your child develop inner controls that will last a lifetime.

Can you really make your child smarter?

2008-09-06T16:53:00.007+05:30

With my child going to playschool, I have come across so many instances where parents would actually ask teachers whether there were ways in which they could make their child smarter. Unfortunately, it almost seemed like a farce considering that the intent was not to understand their child's potential or of improving his/her abilities, but about competing with other kids. Nonetheless, here's my take on what I think is possible.

Most of us believe that there are certain inborn abilities within every child. These could be anything from mathematic calculations, exemplary understand of colors and forms, etc. So what can we do to nurture these abilities? Remember, there aren't any quick, simple ways to turn your child into a genius, but your actions as parents do have a big influence on your child's intellectual capacity.

This influence primarily comes in through direct actions and the examples you set. This is because, kids respond well to parental interest in their activities and such interest gives your child confidence to continue exploring. But you must provide your child with a measure of freedom — it's best to be an active, but not interfering guide, as they build most of their smartness when allowed to discover things on their own.

For example, by a certain age, children believe at a subconscious level that many of their parents attributes are their own; for instance, a girl whose mother is afraid of storms is likely to assume that she, too, is afraid of storms. Children whose parents show an interest in words and books are likely to believe they have a similar interest, and a genuine interest often grows out of this belief. Although these effects can be powerful, children tend to honor what their parents do rather than what they say. If you pay lip service to being curious and asking lots of questions but don't do it yourself, there likely will be little effect on your children.

So if you're truly interested in improving your child's intellect, play with him/her in ways where you can stimulate his thinking and senses.

Bond for life!

2008-04-04T12:42:00.011+05:30

Recently I read a wonderful article on the importance of attaching with your child, and it wasn't just about spending quality time, but about the physical/mental bond that you as a parent should share with your young one. Here's what becoming 'attached' to your child means.

Attachment is a special bond between a parent and child; a feeling that draws you like a magnet to your baby; a relationship that causes the mother to feel that the baby is a part of her. This feeling is so strong that, at least in the early months, the attached mother feels complete only when she is with her baby and incomplete if they are apart.

This is not to say that fathers are excluded from this rule, but because, at least in the early months, the mother-infant attachment is more important. Also, it is not that a father cannot become deeply attached to the child, but it often seems to be a different type of attachment.

Attachment means that a mother and baby are in harmony with each other. Being in harmony with your baby is one of the most fulfilling feelings a mother can ever hope to have. Watch a mother and baby who are attached with each other, you will realize that when the baby gives a cue, such as facial expressions or crying, the mother, because she is open to the baby's cues, responds by satisfying the need.

Initially, her responses may be a bit strained and not always what the baby needs. But as the mother-baby pair rehearse these interactions, after a few weeks or months into parenting this cue-response relationship becomes more natural and harmonious. The baby begins to anticipate the response that his mother will give and become further motivated to give more cues, because he learns that he will get a predictable response.

Because the baby gives the mother feedback that her mothering is appreciated, the mother-baby pair begin to enjoy each other more. They get used to each other. In fact, so often I feel as though I'm absolutely addicted to my baby.

So the next time around when you respond from your heart when your baby cries, or respond with a feeling of rightness when your baby gives you a cue, know that you are well on your way to becoming an attached parent!

To Breastfeed or not...

2008-01-17T11:11:00.000+05:30

To breastfeed or not is after all an individuals choice, but unfortunately, most women today seem to disregard this practice without even knowing its merits. Also, for most, it is a part of modernization which superficially preaches independence. Of course, I may sound biased, but this has only been possible because I understand and appreciate the benefits it has for my child and me.

It all started on the second day when the pediatrician informed me about my baby being lactose intolerant. Reality dawned when I happened to read this book called ‘Start Right – Feeding Babies and Young Children by Dr Stanley A. Cohen. It informed me about the facts and myths of breastfeeding as well as formula or powder milk. Here is what I discovered:

If you want to give your baby the very best, when it comes to nutrition, the best first food for babies is breast milk. This is because, research has established that breast milk is perfectly suited to nourish infants and protect them from illness. Breast-fed infants have lower rates of ear infections, diarrhea, rashes, allergies, and other medical problems than bottle-fed babies.

A breast-fed baby's digestive tract contains large amounts of Lactobacillus bifidus, beneficial bacteria that prevent the growth of harmful organisms. Human milk straight from the breast is always sterile, never contaminated by polluted water or dirty bottles, which can also lead to diarrhea in the infant. Human milk contains at least 100 ingredients not found in formula. No babies are allergic to their mother's milk, although they may have a reaction to something the mother eats. If she eliminates it from her diet, the problem resolves itself.

You should exclusively breastfeed your child for at least six to 12 months. As that is the minimum duration required to equip your child with the antibodies it requires.
If you are a working mother, you need not worry as you can always extract milk, refrigerate it, and preserve for a later date. Did you know that extracted breast milk can last for about 12 hours when preserved in the refrigerator, and about a month, if kept in the freezer? Also, the one system that I completely rely on is the Avent ISIS. Although a little expensive compared to other brands, I found it to be the most convenient in terms of sterilization as well as ease of use.

Nursing has psychological benefits for the infant, as well as creates an early attachment between the mother and child. A nursing baby enjoys a sense of security from the warmth and presence of the mother. Parents of bottle-fed babies may be tempted to prop bottles in the baby's mouth, with no human contact during feeding. But a nursing mother must cuddle her infant closely many times during the day. Thus, nursing becomes more than a way to feed a baby; it's a source of warmth and comfort.

One very interesting site that I came across was http://www.breastfeeding.com/. I'm sure you will be able to find answers to your queries and learn from other women's experiences.

The 'D' day - it almost seemed like a cakewalk until...

2007-11-17T22:10:00.000+05:30

I've known of a lot of women who scare you with their stories of the amount of pain they experienced at the time of labour. In fact, the recent trend is that most women opt for Cesarean just so that they don't have to go through pain (or so they assume), and like in every other aspect of their lives, they can be in control. Sounds overly exaggerated isn't it but it's true! Nonetheless, I was not going to be one of them. I was so prepared for a normal delivery that I had even discussed the various means by which I could make myself comfortable post delivery. And in all probability the only thing that I would fall upon if the pain became unbearable, was an epidural.

There I was at the nursing home. My labour pains had just begun. All I could remember was my mom telling me to stay calm and keep myself focused on what was happening within me. I was doing just that. Gathering all the courage and guts (literally...), I started to push with every contraction. By the time it seemed unbearable and I started demanding for an epidural, I was informed that my cervix had dilated fully and I was ready to get to the final stage. It seemed rather unbelievable as I was prepared to be in pain for almost 8-12 hours (being my first time) and there I was being rushed into the operation theatre in almost 4 hours. Seeing me tensed, the doctor assured me that I was doing perfectly well and that it was only a matter of a few minutes. He guided me through the whole process of 'pushing' but something within me seemed to withstand the pressure I was exerting. About two attempts and they realized something was wrong. I was scared and far too exhausted. Trying to make sense from the chaos, I was told that my baby's head was stuck in my pelvic bone and that they would have to perform an emergency cesarean. To them it was a natural course of action, but for me it wasn't. By then, I had almost visualized holding and cuddling my baby, but it seemed like a distant dream. Soon I was sedated by a general anesthesia and the oxygen mask just took me away from this world. All I faintly remember was the fact that my baby just wouldn't cry and had to be wacked twice to be woken from the slumber.

I was back in my room and my lower body seemed as though it just didn't exist. I was under severe sedation to even register what people were telling me, forget seeing or holding my baby. Sadly, it took me a whole of 12 hours to get out of the sedation just to catch a glimpse of my creation. That's not all, it took me a whole month to get over the effect of the anesthesia that was administered in my spine. The biggest side effect is that it causes an imbalance of pressure and everytime you get up or lie down, you get an almost migrain like headache. And that's not all... The fact that they have to cut through various organs, makes them especially even more suseptable to infections and of course, the fact that they take almost 6 months to heal completely.

So do you think you can opt for such a process or are prepared for all this pain when you can get over it in the most natural manner and heal completely within a fortnight?

Mind over everything... and I mean it literally!

2007-09-03T12:17:00.000+05:30

This is something that I would really like to stress upon. You may question as to why only when you're pregnant that people around you are concerned about you being happy. It is not that they've suddenly found a liking towards you, but because every emotion you experience, be it happiness, sorrow or even anger, affects the life inside you. In fact, this is the reason why some of us can handle stress better than our peers. It is of course a hereditary factor, but if you are successful at minimizing stress when you're pregnant, your child will be definitely better equipped to handle tough situations in future.

Believe me, with the various hormonal changes taking place inside you, it is a much difficult task that you expect it to be. It is a conscious effort. Hence, the first step is to find an effective means to relax yourself. I found solace in praying and I was almost addicted to it.

Remember, the proof of your actions will be reflected in your child's behaviour. So no matter which stage of pregnancy you are in, start practising relaxation and you will surely be rewarded.

The biggest myth

2007-07-06T22:24:00.000+05:30

From the time people realize that you've conceived, most often than not, you will find them telling you to eat a lot more, as in as much as for two people! Let me tell you, this definitely a myth, a stupid notion.

I agree that you need to eat, but a balanced diet. This is because, eating more will only result in you putting on extra weight, and then having complications later on. I too, like most, was surprised when my doctor asked me to diet and would dread every visit as I didn't want to be yelled at for putting on more than required weight. And the most amazing this is that thanks to all that nagging, I managed to put on only about 6.5kgs, and my baby was about 3.5kgs which is just perfect.

Also, keeping yourself sufficiently hydrated will help you avoid swelling in your feet as well as also control your blood pressure which is a must. After all, you have to be a yummy mummy!

An essential fact

2007-07-05T13:47:00.001+05:30

Although all throughout my pregnancy I was addicted to finding out and understanding the changes that were taking place in me, there was one very essential lesson that I had learnt. Remember, it is important to review the growth and progress of your pregnancy, but don't always go by what the books say, just follow your doctor blindly. I'm not saying this to mar your excitement, but there will be instances when you will come across various things such as the size of the foetus, its weight and organ development which may seem contrary to what you've read elsewhere.

All I would say is go by your instincts and be extremely aware of the slightest change, movement or pain.

The beginning of a new world

2007-07-04T14:31:00.000+05:30

...I call this the beginning of a new world, as this was something I had never anticipated. I always wanted to be a mom. Of course, there was a selfish motive, but then there was a greater need to create a being which was a part of me!

And there I was with a positive home pregnancy test. I was also scared, as just a few months back I had a missed abortion. Things had changed ever since, and if it wasn't for that experience, I wouldn't have been so apprehensive of this wonderful journey. At that very moment I had decided, I would'nt see the radiologist ever - I was definitely not prepared to hear that 'there is no heart beat'. But then I had to. So, after almost over a month-and-a-half of haggling with my heart, I finally gathered guts. This time around I was lucky and I say so, as apparently, 25 percent of women go through this phenomenon which is supposedly nature's way of not going ahead with something that is not perfect.

Nevertheless, my joy knew no boundries. I was ecstatic. It was the best birthday gift I had ever received or would ever. That's when I made up my mind, that come what may, I will ensure that I have it my way. And I did. Today, when I look at my little princess, I still go back to the moment when I saw her first movement - I had almost missed a heartbeat. Frankly, I would live a thousand lives to experience every bit of the journey. But yes, you have to prepared for everything that comes along with it. It may sound easy but its not till you experience it. And yet, it leaves a mark on you forever!